


Batfam's Reaction to Terrible Writing

by Reah22



Series: this family is Batshit Crazy [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Detective Comics (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Batdad, Bruce is a good dad, Comics, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Gen, Humor, Universe skipping, basically just me venting my anger about Lobdell and King, so if that bothers you I wouldn't read it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-19 19:35:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18976993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reah22/pseuds/Reah22
Summary: Jason and Tim's reactions to Red Hood #25 and Batman 71. (Thanks Ansa!)If you like Lobdell or King, I wouldn't read this, because it's legitimately just me proving that Bruce is a good dad. Sorry.





	Batfam's Reaction to Terrible Writing

**Author's Note:**

> Last warning folks! Seriously, I have no intentions of reading a bunch of comments defending Bruce's crappy actions.

This world was… definitely different from the ones the Bats were used to finding themselves stuck in. For one, there didn’t seem to be any such thing as superpowers or costumed vigilantes.

For another, their entire lives seemed to have been recorded in comic format.

Now, it wasn’t that they were unfamiliar with comics, or with the tourist Batman comics sold in Gotham. No. It was that these comics actually seemed to be somewhat accurate… up to a point. It made Bruce deeply uneasy, particularly because of the fact that they also knew his secret identity. 

Sadly, his children didn’t seem to share his inhibitions. After all, to quote Duke, ‘It’s a different world, right, Bruce? What’s the harm in reading about ourselves?’ Bruce knew that the face Duke was pulling was far too innocent to mean that they were up to nothing. But as usual, he couldn’t tell the puppy-dog eyes no. Which, in hindsight, might explain how the apartment they had rented out was now covered in comics and various electronic devices. And why his kids were all cackling like gremlins. 

“ _Jason oh my god._ ” Duke wheezed, clutching his side as he laughed. He sounded almost breathless.

Jason glared daggers at him, face redder than Bruce had ever seen him before. “Shut up Thomas! So I’ve made some poor life decisions. I was mentally unstable then, you know!” 

Duke sobered up a bit, still not quite managing to completely stop his chuckling. “Right. Sorry, Jayce.”

“You are the only person in the entire world that calls me that, dipstick.” Despite the insult, Jason definitely sounded fond. At least until Tim got ahold of the issue Duke had been reading.

“Oh! I remember this. It was the most terrifying ten minutes of my life.” 

If anything, Jason just turned redder. “Well… sorry, Timbers.”

Tim waved a hand around airily. “It’s okay. Hey, I thought you and Roy were joking when you were teasing Dick about Discowing!” 

“Wait, what?!” Stephanie and Harper demanded at once, lunging for the comic Tim was holding. 

“Holy v-neck, Batman!” Harper made a show out of bugging her eyes out. 

“Oh my god, Jason, you never mentioned the mullet!”

“That’s because I had just erased it from my memory, Blondie. Thanks for the mental image. I hate it.”

Damian made a noise of disgust the second he saw Dick’s costume. “Richard, you’re disgusting. I thought the _current costume was bad_.”

“Nope. He went from ‘disco reheated’ to ‘classy stripper’.” Barbara commented idly as she flipped through a Batgirl comic. “What is this? I look like a child. Do you see how big my eyes are? And what happened to my wheelchair?”

Duke leaned over her shoulder before whistling sympathetically. “Wow. You’re still badass though, Babs, don’t worry.”

“Duke Thomas! There is no fucking swearing in this goddamn house!” Jason bellowed from across the room. Duke just laughed and flipped him the bird--pun intended.

“All of you are nuts. Stop picking on my costume, anyways! I liked it.” Dick pouted, flipping through an issue of ‘Red Hood and the Outlaws’. “Also, Jason, you have major daddy issues.” Suddenly, his rapid flipping stopped, and his face seemed to freeze.

“What’d you find, Dickface?” 

Wordlessly Dick held up the comic. Everyone paused what they were doing to stare at it, and their expressions slowly changed to almost identical looks of horror. 

Bruce wished Dick’s back wasn’t to him, because whatever was there that could scare all of his children--even Cass and Babs--wasn’t something to be taken lightly. 

“What is it, Dick?” Everyone in the room flinched at his voice, half of them meeting his inquisitive gaze with a glare, the other half staring down at the ground. Jason was included in the second half, which instantly triggered alarm bells in Bruce’s ‘Batdad sense’. “Dick. What is in the comic.” 

It was no longer a question, but a demand. Dick only waffled for a few seconds longer before handing the comic over. And when Bruce saw what the pages contained, he wanted to throw up. The Batman depicted in the art was beating Jason, yelling something about him killing the Penguin. Bruce felt his mouth turn dry, and he flipped to the cover, reading the writer’s name. _Scott Lobdell_. He took a special note of that. 

“This isn’t true. I would never do this.” None of his kids met his eyes. Bruce stared in despair before doing the only thing he could think of--he gathered all of his kids together into a giant group hug. For once, there was no complaining or grumbling. All of his kids seemed content to curl into their dad and siblings. Jason himself pressed right up against his side.

“Um, Bruce? Look at this too.” Tim’s voice sounded small, and Bruce tracked his gaze to a comic laying open on the floor. It depicted Tim asking if Bruce was okay. On the next page, Bruce punched Tim hard enough to send him to the ground. Bruce couldn’t say anything, but he wordlessly kicked the comic away (while still taking note of the author-- _Tom King, huh?_ ) and pulled Tim closer into his side. 

“It’s okay. I won’t let any of this become real. Don’t worry.”

Jason made a strangled noise- _I’m not worried, I could take you in a fight_ -but Bruce simply ignored him. And if his shirt was getting wet where Tim was resting his head against his shirt, well, Bruce was hardly in a position to judge his son.

**Author's Note:**

> No. I don't take constructive criticism.
> 
> On that note, if you see any typos do let me know.


End file.
